Module 5: Gratitude and Giving

What if gratitude was more than just the mood-enhancer we have made it?

Gratitude is probably the one spiritual discipline that many of us would contend that we understand the most. It has been scientifically studied and expounded upon in countless historical texts, sermons, self-help books, and blogs. It's earned itself a hashtag during the thanksgiving season, #thirtydaysofthanks, et al. and has become so commonplace as a personal development tool for finding happiness that perhaps we have cheapened it. What if gratitude was more than just the mood enhancer we have made it?

Famed Philosopher Cicero called gratitude "the parent of all the other virtues."

It's true that the presence of gratitude counteracts the negative vices of envy, resentment and greed. When you are grateful for what you have, you spend less time comparing yourself to others, and less time making poor decisions based on those comparisons. But gratitude is more than just the visceral involuntary reaction of a human to the good things that come into their lives.

Dr. Robert A. Emmons, a scientific expert on gratitude, defines gratitude as having two parts: "1) affirming goodness in one's life and 2) recognizing that the sources of this goodness lie at least partially outside the self."

It's true that gratitude is something everyone experiences, but this is a basic form of gratitude that is passive and waited for; A fleeting feeling, evoked by positive experiences. The discipline of gratitude is intentional, chosen and trained. It is an action - not just experienced, but expressed. It is a mindset, an attitude, a posture of the heart.

Much like fasting, the practice of gratitude comes with a myriad of benefits. It bolsters the immune system, lowers the risk of depression, promotes resilience to stress, increases energy and feelings of well-being and can even promote better sleep. But, like fasting, the reasons for practicing it transcend the tangible and radiate to the inner life of the soul, sanctifying it to become more like Christ.

Gratitude is a "perspective portal." It is a way of gaining a more expansive view of reality. It's a proverbial "putting on of love glasses," enabling us to see through its lens, the gifts, benefits and mercies in your life which might otherwise have remained hidden and ignored. The discipline of gratitude calls us to a greater level of observation - more mindfulness, more awareness, more presence, and more discovery. It is an invitation to a life of wonder and awe.

Recognizing Our Gifts

Recognizing that our gifts come from outside of ourselves produces a spirit of humility, which serves as fuel to spark generosity. So it is natural that gratitude and giving are two sides to the same spiritual discipline coin. Gratitude turns our gaze outward, helping us to see realities outside of ourselves, and creating a connection between us and others. It allows us to affirm the worth and value of people and structures, and ascribe worth and honor to the supernatural power of God in our lives, instead of taking it all for granted.

The life and discipline of gratitude is one reason why the David of the Bible could write Psalms of magnificent praise in the midst of very difficult times in his life.

This is why he can write this in Psalm 13: O LORD, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? How long will my enemy have the upper hand? Turn and answer me, O LORD my God! Restore the light to my eyes, or I will die. Don't let my enemies gloat, saying, "We have defeated him!" Don't let them rejoice at my downfall. But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing praises to the LORD because he has been so good to me.

King David experienced God in a deeper and life-giving way through the discipline of gratitude. A disposition of gratitude is important for us to develop too. Not only does it draw us closer to God, but it also deepens our relationship with others.

Dr. Brent Atkinson, a professor of marriage and family therapy explains that "When people share positive emotions (like gratitude) with each other, scans show that their brains "sync up" with similar activity. You increase your capacity for love."

Gratitude primes the soul for goodness, and serving one another becomes a natural outflow. Thankfulness for a gift or service makes the giver want to give again. This is good for you, but also for your relationships. Cultivating a spirit of gratefulness leads to a greater willingness to give of oneself. Human beings are interdependent upon each other. Sometimes we give and sometimes we receive. Being less grateful doesn't make us less dependent, but it robs us of the benefits that gratitude brings.

Some Obstacles to Gratitude

Distraction. We may intend to express gratitude, feel the impulse to act on it, but quickly get sidetracked by the happenings of our day.

Negative Mindset. Some people just have a natural penchant for noticing the potential threat in the environment. So much so, that if ten things go right in a day, you will spend time dwelling on the one that did not.

Apathy. We can become so acclimated to our blessings, that the novel rush of a new home, job, car, etc…wears off and leaves us apathetic to the gift and blessing that they are.

Envy. It's hard to be grateful for what you have when it seems that others have better things than you.

Pride. Gratitude is predicated upon humility.

The practical key to cultivating gratitude is to engage the memory. "Gratitude is the memory of the heart." - French Proverb

Ingratitude is a matter of forgetfulness. We forget what others have done for us - what God has done for us. We forget all that we have that we are not entitled to. We forget all the ways we are blessed. Emmons writes, "Do you want to be a grateful person? Then remember to remember."

Scripture

1 Thess 5:16-18, 2 Cor 9:7, Ps 103:1-4, Isaiah12:4-5, Heb 12:28, Col 3: 15, 2 Cor 9:15, 2 Cor 9:7

Questions

1. How does a spirit of gratitude lead to a greater willingness to give?
2. How can we cultivate gratitude in our daily lives?
3. How can giving change our perspective and attitudes?
4. What are some practical ways we can give to others?

Applications

Practice gratitude by keeping a thankfulness journal, where you write down things you are grateful for each day.

What do you see? Make a list. What you observe can lead you to a prayer of wonder.

Who do you see? If you are alone, make a list of five people whom you have seen today.

What do you know about them that you are grateful for? Write their name and what you are grateful for. When you see them later today or during the week, tell them what you're grateful for.

Yourself. What are you grateful for about you? Where have you seen God at work for which you can say Thank you God? Write these things below and give him thanks.

Considering your life and God's gifts to you, spend some time responding creatively with thanksgiving. Suggestions: write a poem, sketch pictures of what you are thankful for, write a letter of thanksgiving.

For what are you grateful for today?